Children who witness domestic violence always suffer too

Domestic violence child
Children who witness domestic violence always suffer too
Fathers and mothers want to be good parents to their children, give them attention, encourage and protect them. Of course there are arguments between parents, but children should experience parents arguing and making up again. In some families, arguments lead to violence.
LKA NRW

Police crime prevention program of the federal states and the federal government

Every child has the right to a non-violent upbringing

Fathers and mothers want to be good parents to their children, give them attention, encourage and protect them. Of course there are arguments between parents, but children should experience parents arguing and making up again. In some families, arguments lead to violence. Most children who witness domestic violence are ashamed of their parents' behavior. This makes it difficult for them to confide in someone. In addition, they are often under enormous pressure because they have to take on tasks that the victim is no longer up to. Children are overwhelmed by this. If they get involved in the argument, they can put themselves in danger. Children feel guilty for what happens at home. It must be made clear to them that they are not responsible for their parents' behavior. They are guided by the example set by their parents. If they experience violence, it becomes the norm. They learn that violence to enforce their own interests is "normal". They do not learn that there are also positive behavioral alternatives in conflict situations. In adulthood, these children often repeat what they have experienced, i.e. the use or toleration of violence. Children therefore need qualified support in overcoming their experiences of violence. This is provided, for example, by specialist counseling in youth welfare offices, by educators in women's shelters and/or special offers from trauma centers for children and adolescents.

Help and support for children and young people

Children can get help and support if they have problems at home, at school, with friends or if they feel threatened:

  • Children's and young people's hotline 0800 111 0333 "Nummer gegen Kummer e. V.", anonymous
  • and free of charge (mobile and landline): Mondays - Saturdays 14-20h Online advice for young people from young people at http://www.youth-life-line.de
  • Youth welfare office
  • Child protection services and child protection association in all regions

 

Help and support for parents and guardians

  • Parents' hotline for parents and guardians 0800 111 0 550 "Nummer gegen Kummer e. V.", anonymous and free of charge (mobile and landline): Mondays - Fridays from 9-11 am and Tuesdays + Thursdays from 5-7 pm
  • Youth welfare office
  • Child protection services and child protection association in all regions
  • Phone counseling around the clock on 0800 111 0111 or at
  • 0800 111 0222
Options for regulating access rights for the children

If the victim decides to apply for protection under civil law, the protection order can be restricted if the perpetrator has a right of access to a common child. If there is a threat of further violence and thus a risk to the child's welfare, it can be arranged with the help of the youth welfare office or a lawyer that the right of access is only exercised to a limited extent or suspended. Possible arrangements are:

- the handover in a protected room,

- accompanied or supervised contact or

- the suspension of contact

.

If you have any further questions, you can contact your local youth welfare office.

 

Helpful links:

Information on children as witnesses of domestic violence at

Information for children and young people on domestic violence at

Information for victims with children:

Translated with DeepL.com (API Version)
In urgent cases: Police emergency number 110